TG Newsletter: ANTIPANTS-ANTIPOACHING 2022

Skinny van Schalkwyk
Jan 27, 2022
5 min read

AntiPants - AntiPoaching

(23 January 2022)

…and it was a dae, like any other dae.

The sun peeped through the curtains as you wiped the last dream remnants off your face. The kettle whistled a jovial tune while you stumbled lazily out of bed.

It was a dae with good intentions and you smirked as you pulled your boxers over your knees. Nothing could stop you! Not the slightlyovercastwithpossiblerain forecast. Not the streaky quick tan lines over your thighs. Not the Christmas dinner still jigglin’ on your hips. Todae you were joining the ludicrous people of AntiPants to create awareness for the…

CheliniiDAE

(Sea Turtles)

We decelebrated* the fifth year of AntiPants.

*the opposite of shellebrate, because of the very reason why we do it.

It simply astounds how many people are willing to wobble for a good cause.

Everybody arrives at the Pretoria Union Buildings, drop their pants and spend the rest of the day feeling the freedom of unrestricted flatulence.

Our intentions have never been vulgar, crude or gross.

We only want to draw attention – and as it turns out – we’re damn good at it!

Sitting at the entrance of a KwikSpar behind a wonky camping table, rattling some coins in a dented tin, might let you feel like you are making a difference, but we decided to take it up a notch (pun intended).

We want people to become aware of the impact poaching has on earth’s animals. The human race’s incessant drive to keep breeding has created an insatiable market for (unscientific) hormone boosting animal by-products. These products are marketed as bogus medicinal enhancements for fertility, longevity, and exceptional intellect. But our indifference to overpopulation clearly proves the impotence of these products compared to basic education.

Strangely, we don’t ever see any inappropriate behaviour at these AntiPants events. You are so aware of your own vulnerability that you dare not point and laugh at anybody else, lest you be ridiculed yourself.

Pride of one’s work is not improper, unladylike, or vain. Low self-esteem is not modesty. We can all take a lesson from the sea turtle. She does not travel thousands of miles or risk all for her ego. She has an instinct for greatness - one that I believe is found in all living creatures. Mary Alice

This year we had 182 bikes with 238 people shakin’ what their mamas gave ‘em. Cash donations received on the day was R24 440-00!

* Breakfast - www.facebook.com/coffeeatcapital *

There might still be some EFT donations, and we will tally all extra contributions made after this newsletter before we hand it over to the TURTLE PROJECT, affectionately run by the TWO OCEANS AQUARIUM.

https://aquariumfoundation.org.za/support-our-causes/

You are also welcome to donate directly to them – just follow the link above!

Here’s some turtl’y mind blowing stats on the status of the world’s sea turtles:

Seven species of sea turtles inhabit every ocean and nest in more than 100 countries, but six of the seven species are endangered due to human-caused threats.

Over the last 200 years, humans have tipped the scale against turtles. They are slaughtered for their eggs, meat, skin, and shells. How do we expect humans to understand ‘OVER-exploitation’ if they can’t fathom ‘OVER-population’?

Some cultures allege that sea turtle eggs are aphrodisiacs. There is, however, no scientific basis to this belief. In other cultures, they claim that eating the flesh leads to a long life.

Researchers suspect that in Southeast Asia, sea turtle harvesting removes 50 000 animals from the wild each year.

Dankie to everybody who helped with marshalling!

In 2007, authorities intercepted a Chinese fishing vessel in the waters off the coast of Indonesia; this single ship contained 397 dead sea turtles.

Nicaraguan people express a preference for the flavour of sea turtle eggs and cling to the belief that they have superior nutritional value over chicken eggs.

Up until the 1970’s (when sea turtles were internationally recognized as endangered), their meat was also used to prepare green turtle soup - considered a specialty.

What the shell? Eat a turtle and go straight to hell!

It is estimated that more than 250 000 sea turtles are caught and drowned in bycatch each year.

Leatherback Sea Turtles: The oldest of all sea turtle species. They have been around for more than 150 million years! They survived the extinction of the dinosaurs, but will they outlast humans?

90% of the Eastern Pacific Leatherback population has declined over the past 30 years.

Hawksbill Sea Turtles: Their population has declined more than 80% in the last century due to the trade in their beautiful shell. The shell is used for items such as jewelry, combs and brushes, and other decorative pieces.

A total of 71% of post-hatchlings rehabilitated by the Two Oceans Aquarium were found to have digested plastic, which results in intestinal problems.

* Lunch - www.facebook.com/MulligansPubRestaurant *

Plastic bags and balloons impersonate their favourite prey, jellyfish, and when ingested may block their digestive tract, preventing them from eating.

Even legends support the cause!

Stop dropping trash where we splash!

A very limited number of T-shirts and pins were auctioned off with the expert help of Jaco, VetPret!

We believe in the supernatural, we believe in fantasy, we believe in muti… We are amazed by the size of a Leatherback turtle, but not by its existence. We are mesmerized by the colourful shell of a Hawksbill turtle, but not awestruck by its being. If we are this whimsical, why can we not dream of making this a better planet???

InTouch (products made from recycled fishing nets) sponsored the best Undressed at the event:

www.facebook.com/INTOUCH.with.technology

Thanx for all the video and photo contributions from:

Hannelie van Schalkwyk

Donovan Fourie

Edgar Hibbert

Laird Forbes

CHIKITA PRODUCTIONS PRESENT:

They say you must take a walk with a turtle if you want to behold the world in pause. We can only offer you seven minutes of unadulterated video time – to behold the compassionate hearts of motorcyclists. At the 2022 AntiPants event, awareness was created for the predicament our sea turtles find themselves in. Ride fast – live slow!

Video produced by Jolandi Mentz (23 Jan 2022)

https://youtu.be/9mJggYjgavU

HONESTY NEWSLETTER!

Let’s be honest! We are appalled by people covering their privates with little pieces of cloth in public. But if people mos stopped devouring endangered species – we would not have to run through the streets half naked in protest. If you want to stop seeing my annual arrears – SAVE A TURTLE!

If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.

If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.

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