TG Newsletter: AntiPants - AntiPoaching #8

Skinny
Jan 27
4 min read

AntiPants - AntiPoaching

(19 January 2025)

I want to find the world where everything is right…

It’s a land far, far off into a galaxy unknown, where pants are overrated, and pangolins roam the ant-hill-covered fields of a peaceful 26°C landscape.

Cause here on this one… there is people. Bad people, evil people, gomgat people, gimmegimmegimme people. And they out rate the good people by two cheeks to one.

It was the eighth AntiPants-AntiPoaching event and this year we were danglin’ for the pangolin.

In short(s); people gather, drop their pants, ride through the streets of Pretoria in their jocks and g-strings, create awareness for a scaly-balled creature and donate some (I don’t know where you kept that) money.

We raised R54 000!

(…so far. Drop a donation into the account at the bottom and let’s see if we can raise a few thou more)

Pangolin.Africa is a registered non-profit organisation dedicated to the survival of the most highly trafficked wildlife species on Earth – the African pangolin.

Now, duh… you can help them by donating money (lest me repeat myself – look at the bottom of this email) or… NO! and…

You can become a pangolin guardian!

It takes a mere few minutes and you get a lekker superhero badge if you complete the questionnaire.

https://www.pangolin.africa/become-a-pangolin-guardian

I can recall all the spine-chilling stories I read about pangolin poaching, pickling and performance enhancers. But just know - the Asians are vreet-ing our pangolins at a rate faster than you can outlive this life.

China has joined the WORLD in banning the poaching and selling of pangolins, but nifty as their lust for scales – they have somehow found a loop hole. Pharmaceutical companies are still permitted to produce meds that contain pangolins. Hospitals (700 hundred hospitals to be exact) not only sell these products but also promote the use of ietermago-muti.

WHAT DA HECK?

WHAT DA HECK??

WHAT DA HECK???

…was mumbled under the breaths of many a first-time AntiPanter, when they saw Valerie and Esmeralde donning their dental floss and tiny price-stickers that nobody removed on the day they were born.

We gave everybody a few hours to strip their butts and line their stomachs with scrumptious croissants from Huckleberry’s Magnolia Dell. While Booga quickly Ubered a bottle of much need buttflap-encouragement called tequila.

From there we flooded the streets with varicose veins, cellulite, scars and stretch marks. Was it fear, disgust or amusement I saw in the pedestrians’ eyes?

What is the first rule of biking? Mmmmm?

‘DON’T FOLLOW CHIKITA!’

You can question the futility of this rule at a later stage, but she safely led the roaring hordes around traffic circles, over red robots, and past waving spietkops.

A quick stop for a halfway beer and pulling-sweaty-butts off hot sticky fake leather seats.

Last stop was at Mulligan’s Pub and Restaurant in Harties where there was an auction for amazing goodies sponsored by Daniel Mulder Distributors (www.dmd.co.za), Mabalingwe Lodge, Liezl Greyling, Kobus Jerling and Janine Peck.

There was so bliksems baie effort made by some folks, with washers pasted all over their helmets resembling scales, handmade pangolin dolls, scaly underwear, his and hers (Pietermagog and Tietermagog) hats and custom made t-shirts and onnas.

When the last penny was spent and the third splash hit the livers, the party turned into a festival of burnouts.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;

The winds that will be howling at all hours,

And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;

For this, for everything, we are out of tune;

It moves us not.

William Wordsworth

Thanx to the Photographers/Videographers:

Hannelie van Schalkwyk (www.facebook.com/hannelie.schalkwyk)

Donovan Fourie (www.facebook.com/donovan.fourie)

Juan Mulder (www.facebook.com/DieStig)

Thanx to the almost-professional auctioneer:

Donovan Fourie (www.facebook.com/donovan.fourie)

CHIKITA PRODUCTIONS PRESENT:

What does it mean to drop your pants to save a pangolin? Well... not much, but we did raise R54 000 donated to Pangolin.Africa. Watch us danglin' for the pangolin! Broeke lôs vir ietermagôs!

Video produced by Jolandi Mentz (19 Jan 2025)

https://youtu.be/6_fmel7n2r8

SPONSORS:

Sponsored by Daniel Mulder Distributors (DMD) www.dmd.co.za

Forma Boots (www.formaboots.com)

Caberg Helmets (www.caberg.it)

Oxford Products (www.oxfordproducts.com)

Givi (www.givi.ite)

Answer Racing (www.answerracing.com)

Off Road Cycles (www.offroadcycles.co.za)

2M Lazy Lowder (www.2mtrailers.co.za)

PaintAbike by Phil Privett (www.instagram.com/paintabikesa)

HONESTY NEWSLETTER!

If you honestly donate a R100, you might not save a whole pangolin. But you might save your whole soul!

If you’re familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain’t much different... We are completely un-paid journalists, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you’ve received.

If you don’t find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. We won’t stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... and we love sharing our stories.

As requested by the overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on the following PayPal account:

skinny@tankgirls.co.za

OR...

You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.