top of page


Hartbeespoort Animal Welfare Society

(8 December 2018)

HAWS is a registered non-profit organization that provides welfare services for abandoned, neglected and abused pets. Every once in a while, we make a stopover at their premises to drop of bags and bags and bags of food.

The Tank Girls were joined by Christy and Johan, to go pat some pets.

The excitement mounts for days as we must count off sleeps to go play with the pets. Motorcycles are cleaned, and visors wiped. It’s almost like prepping for a romantic date (just with more smooching).

Cats are the first furies you meet as you enter the cages. They have lots of space and toys.

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"

Death thought about it… "CATS, " he said eventually. "CATS ARE NICE.”

*Terry Pratchett, Sourcery*

The cats were happy to see us and spend time with us, but they had to do it with more aloofness than gratitude. It is the cat-way…

"What's your name, " Coraline asked the cat. "Look, I'm Coraline. Okay?"

"Cats don't have names," it said.

"No?" said Coraline.

"No," said the cat. "Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names."

*Neil Gaiman, Coraline*

One of the HAWS’ requests is to spend time playing with the animals:

You can make a huge difference in their lives by playing with them, walking them and grooming them while they wait for their new forever-parents to find them, because…

Dogs don’t keep tabs!

The dogs had no boundaries with their exuberance. We had bags full of cookies, but they were more interested in playing, chasing, jumping and loving.

At the back of the grounds they have a few big kennels for the larger dogs. When I got there Christy was already standing a few feet from the fence, looking into the cage and muttering something about not taking a chance and going into that cage. While she was still talking, I was already inside, locking the gate behind me, mumbling back,

"I had yet to meet a dog I was afraid of… and a human I’m not."

Turns out the residents were a St. Bernard and a Great Dane (both about 3 years old). The Dane was a bit shy and very gentle with beautiful blue eyes.

The Bern was filled with fuzziness, flopping around and photo-bombing every clicky sound. He would sit on command, but when you threw the cookie in the air, he would stair up as if the cookie was thrown to space, never to return.

A St. Bernard is actually just one enormous drool gland…


After receiving carpets of fur, gallons of drool, and chambers filled with dog breath it was time to pay it forward. I still have no idea where Chikita fitted 3 tons of cat food on her 701?

We received more than we could ever give, even in the but few hours we spent there.

Animals are truly pure creatures. I hope to go to their heaven – not man’s.

With the smell of Terriers, Jacks and Beagles still clinging to out clothes we headed down the road to the stunt spot. It was time to chase our own tails!

Chikita took her second mode of transport for a test ride… a broom.

We did a bit of clean-up and set-up, while we waited for Nico (Stunt Stylez) to grace us with his presents (pun intended!)

I give to you…

Nico Hesselman

Skinny van Schalkwyk

I really like this game, I just wish I was better at it.

Synchronized riding!

Not only do I wish I was better, but I wish my balls were made of titanium. Scraping up enough courage to step up for a rolling-burnout…


With my one voet on the back seat, I kept drifting to the right?!? Nico advised me to put all my weight on the back seat and suddenly it all came together. Until…………………

It so happened that the girl approached the speed of light – it’s blue!

When a wheelie comes down too hard and flips you over the nose, but instinct makes you hold onto those bars for dear life. You flick back but with both feet on one side of the bike dragging next to it as it keeps speeding up. In the four milliseconds you fly next to the bike like Lois next to Superman, you realize that the bike won’t stop if you don’t let go of the throttle. Aaag okaaay…

You let go but as you slide down the side of the bike, Billy-Bob grabs your jacket with his foot peg and pulls you in for a hug. With your nose going down and your shoulder grinding into the tar, you already know the outcome… "No Billy-Bob! NOT THE COLLARBONE – NOT THE COLLARBONE!"

(Pssst, thanx to DMD for my Oxford jeggings and Forma tekkies – there’s a reason why my name is Skin-nie)

The family of spectators was first to notice the cloud of dust and sped off to see if I was okay. As luck would have it, they had a first-aid kit with an arm sling.

I love you, family-of-four!

The bike was fine! Billy-Bob didn’t even notice we had a crash. He thought it was part of the show!!!

A quick stop at Brits MediClinic with some unflattering black-white photos proofed a fokked collarbone. Better still was Nikki & Hanani that rode out all the way from Pretoria; they took more kiekies than Chinese tourists.

Not everybody is as lucky to have amazing friends like I have <3

Ending an eventful day driving through a spookasem thunderstorm. It was earth’s way of saying ‘Thank you for all the smiles.’

Happiness might sound like a proper noun, as if it is something you can hold, own, or gain. But it is not like a muscle you can develop or an emotion you can train. It comes with compassion, sympathy and joy. By living life and taking in every second… the pain & the pleasure, the laughter & the cries, the man & the inhuman, every lick and every bite. Sometimes dog slobber, roaring bikes, and morphine are just as good for the soul.


Skinny and friends spent the morning at an animal shelter and the afternoon stunting. Between Happy Hounds and Sloppy Stoppies, we donated dog food and spent the afternoon laughing at my ill attempts at stand-up wheelies. This is how you end an exciting day of taking things too far... aka wheelies gone wrong!


Because we care, because we adore those cute little schubdiere, and because we’re a little crazy…

It’s time for the AntiPants event again!

Sunday - 20 January 2019

Start venue – The Union Buildings (meeting at 8am, leaving at 9am)

End venue - Lazy Lizard Brew House, Broederstroom

This year we are scraping together every cent that we can to donate to the Pangolin.Africa organization. They are making a movie to inform people of the plight of the ietermagog. Do you care as much as we do? Ride with us, donate your cents and do it all NOT wearing pants. Or wear them… but still join us for the ride and for a beer and for laughter and because WE CARE!

The Eye of the Pangolin


If humans were honest there would be no need for animal shelters. All animals would be looked after and loved. I can honestly say that I do not mind if you donate this month rather to HAWS. My pain is my fault and I’ll heal up on my own… I’m a big dog!

If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.

If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.

As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account:


You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.

Play dead!

Skinny YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk


bottom of page