TG Newsletter: SOUTH COAST BIKE FESTIVAL

South Coast Bike Fest

(26 - 28 April 2019)

 

I do not see myself as a stunter.  The rest of the world disagrees…

 

So, I got roped in again to stunt down in Margate at the 2019 SCBF.

 

It’s an 11-hour drive from home, and myself, Chikita and Irma sang campfire singalongs through the night to keep us awake behind the wheel.  We pitched up at the hotel at 2am, and there wasn’t anybody to book us in.  Luckily the security guard didn’t mind that we snoozed in the foyer.  We’ve had worse.

 

The next morning we did a quick warm-up routine down the lobby, making sure my balance was still in check.  To be ‘off your trolley’, you have to act like a suitcase…

 

The SEA!!!

 

“From out their grottos at evenings beam,
the mermaids swim with locks agleam.”

 

The festival entrance advised on spiritual aftercare.

 

Before we blinked, the streets were packed!  People eating, stalls selling, bikes revving, music blêrring.

 

I went down to have a look at the stunt-strip, where I met OJ (media relations for SCBF).

 

But oh-wee…

 

The strip was but a few meters ‘short’, with a burst pipe spewing water midway across, and on the only dry spot there was a beautifully branded Le Riche trokkie.  Where did they want me to roll Billy-Bob’s wheels?

 

I would worry about that later.  The show must go on!  It was time to check out the festivities.

 

We stopped at the Suzuki stand and nearly did a successful getaway… if only we had the keys!

 

Brakke and boneys – so many sweet canines!

 

Chicks on bikes with guns!  Guys were voluntarily handing themselves over for offences ranging from not indicating to not shaving.

 

Ghost breath at the entrance: Welcome to the valley of carbon & steel!

 

The most fun had by all was at the Airworx stalletjie!!!

 

You pop on some 3D goggles, gooi a leg over and hold on for dear life.  I have never won an MX race… I still haven’t.  There were mixtures of yelps, yodeling, giggling and competitive growling,

 

“I’M KILLING PEOPLE!!!”

 

We met up with Stunt-Mike and Chucky.  I invited them to help me flavoured some pink road house milkshakes with an extra dash of strawbs.

 

Cameras kept snapping all around!

 

Oysters served in shooter glasses – sluk sussie!

 

Le Riche Brothers!

 

These two are superb.  They are really good stunters too, but nice guys are what they are known for.  That they haven’t (accidentally) killed one another yet, might just be their biggest feat.

 

My nerves were OP, KLAAR, GEDAAN…  The organizers pulled the barriers back a meter or so to give me a bit more space but not even K.I.T.T. could make an successful jump in that parking lot.  I’ve been practicing in smaller and smaller spaces, but the smallest yet has been 100m… this was smaller – BY AT LEAST TWO TOYOTAS AND A JEEP.

 

I gave it my best shot…

 

My Christo’s became Froggo’s…

 

I managed a successful curtsy, but a princess I am not.

 

Shinko saved the day!

 

…even though I could only do a quarter donut.  Did they want me to go on a diet?!?

 

And then…

 

King Donut decided to jump in!

 

“Heya Maergat!”

 

“Yoyoyo King!”

 

“Let’s smoke this crowd!!!”

 

We ended off the show with some smooth Patlansky and smoother whisky.

 

We are not very poor or very rich.  We are not simple or complicated.  We are not courageous or cowardly.  We are shy and outspoken.  We are funny and sensitive.  We do what girls are not suppose to do.  We are happy!

 

*Most of the photos were taken by Irma Wouters, some by Jolandi Mentz, and a few I stole from FB (shoot-er me)*

 

 

CHIKITA PRODUCTIONS:

 

Burnouts, blipping, braaaaaping and a complete loss of throttle-control...  The Tank Girls (Skinny, Chikita and Irma) join in the two-wheeled festivities of the South Coast Bike Festival.  There's the amazing Le Riche boeties, King Donut, music, 3D rides, and LOTSA people.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cWHb3bNcj4

 

 

HONESTY NEWSLETTER!

 

That tyre is shot – SEND MONEY!

 

If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different...   I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system.  You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.

 

If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh.  I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.

 

As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account: skinny@tankgirls.co.za

OR...

You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.

 

Coffee beans will never be the same again!

Skinny

 

www.tankgirls.co.za

www.facebook.com/SkinnyBikerChicken

www.pinterest.com/skinny400
YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk

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December 27, 2019

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