TG Newsletter: SCOOT-X, HAWS & CRAFT BEER
For exercise, we raced!
(11 November 2016)
Mike Puzey and his crew at Biker’s Warehouse (www.bikerswarehouse.co.za) decided to spoil us with a Friday night djol called Scoot-X.
It was the first scooter race held in over 10 years.
They made 6 Ubers available for Uberless sods like us. The rest came with their own wheels, warmed and ready to race.
Mike laid down the rules… of which there were none!
Everybody got a few laps to get into the roll of things.
The new electric Uber Scoot range is available with an optimised charge range and with the weight of the 1200W reduced to only 34kg, they are ideal short (and long) distance daily commuters.
The top of the range scoot comes standard with front suspension, 12” inflatable cross tread stability tyres, a removable seat, the powerful AC HUB motor, water resistant electronics, LED lighting system, and standard SLA gel 48V (24km range) batteries.
Me and Chikita decided to warm up the Tank Girls way…
What a turn out! There were more than 50 okes that signed up for small-wheel fun. Even the okettes came in force!
(No distinction was made between the differences in height of chin-over-handlebars.)
The manne had no saak taking one another out – elbows in ribs.
The table-top around the corner was a nice surprise!
You had a choice of slowing down for a corner; leaning into the corner; drifting through the corner; or… getting off the scoot and running around the corner.
The competition was fierce and there were definitely some seriously skilled riders.
When we entered, Kerry asked if we had any gear that was protection-like…? Anything…??? We had helmets, bloukolle, and freshly healed roasties – we were sorted!
Chikita went out in the first chickens’ heat. She be with white helmet.
And they are off!
NO REALLY! These things have a jump start like a donkey with a hot iron on its ass.
The first girls went flying over the table.
Chikita had a bit of catching up to do.
Even though she didn’t take the flag – she had the swag!
But I knew I was gonna get killed… Have you seen these girls ride MX?!? Ouch…
As the line dropped, I flat tapped it out – popping a wheelie and landing on my gat within a meter.
I pulled the bike up and pulled myself towards myself. FOCUS CHICK!
I was back on the wheels, pressing the thumb throttle down flat.
The front wheel hit the table with a thud and I landed on the other side with an even louder THUD!
Why did I not bring my knee guards?!?
But speed knows no pain and I got back up. I had to see if I could catch a chicken or two.
How to catch a chicken – according to Google…
Chickens roost at night, making them less mobile and easier to catch off guard.
I guess they didn’t reckon that these night-hens would be on scoots…
The leader was trying to get a flying gap.
So, I switched on my booster pack!
After lap two I got the hang of it. It was better just to tip the bike side to side, than to try and steer it.
My facial expression was a mix of concentration, exhilarating fun and cringing about the roasties under my jean pants.
As we got ready for the finals, the heavens burst open. The racing was cancelled and we’ll have to wait for the next race (9 December 2016) to determine a winner.
Some of the hens hated being cooped up and was brave enough to slip out again…
Well done to the leaders for the day: Grant Frerichs and Taryn Hughes!
Next event 9 DECEMBER 2016 - be there!!!
For love, we donated!
WHORES 4 HAWS CHARITY
(26 November 2016)
I decided to dust off the Whores 4 HAWS charity ride. It is a charity ride where you dress up like a Sluwe-Slet and drop off pet food at Hartbeespoort Animal Welfare Society (HAWS - www.haw-s.co.za).
I wasn’t sure if I got the dress code right? For some of you it might come as a surprise, but I don’t regularly dress like a hooker. But… by the time I got to the Mooinooi filling station most of the town men were hanging out of their bakkies, wolf whistling and grappling for their wallets.
Jip, I had it down to the V… I mean… to the T!
A small group of us met up at Biker’s Warehouse where we had coffee. I’m not a caffeine lover, but I needed something to warm up. Even riding in the African summer, it is still freezing if you don’t have much cloth wrapped around you.
On the way out to Harties, Chikita stopped next to me and pointed out that I was causing havoc in traffic. There was a minivan next to us filled with white bulging eyeballs pressed against the windows.
I duly popped a wheelie!
At HAWS we were greeted with exuberation, as if they knew the petting was about to get real.
Chikita jumped off the bike and straight into the first cattery.
We had to pry her out with promises of lots more cat purring and hair balls.
We handed over all the loot. Louré pulled in with a bakkie filled with dog food. Thank you PawPrint Pet Cremation (www.petangels.co.za)!
At PawPrint we look after your pet angels when they cross the rainbow bridge. But while they are still with us on this earth, we will try and fatten up these future angels.
Everybody came with gifts, though Chikita had more cans than she has space on a bike to transport them. The more she kept on shaking stuff, the more cans came rolling out all over the floor.
It was time for some LICKING!
We had peanut flavoured dog biscuits. And Angie even baked her own biscuits the day before – YOU SWEET-SWEET GIRL!
Though… the mutts knew all too well that behind all the cookie-givers were love and affection.
We were licked, nibbled, barked at, scratched, jumped over, bumped over, hugged, tjanked at, clawed and slobbered sopping wet.
I’m not sure who enjoyed it more??? Them or us?
Cat hair is lonely people glitter…
The problem was putting all the pooches back into kennels at the end of the day…
Easier said than done!
With the smallest gap in the gate; you’re trying your best to push one back into the den, two slips out, while one distracts you by chewing on your fingers.
For the life of me I cannot understand why anyone would BUY a pet, when there are so many mongrels and moggies waiting for good homes and to drown peeps with love?
I know the food we gave will probably only last a few days, but hopefully our love will hover around a bit longer.
Thanx Chikita, Liesl, Angie and Pikkie! From all the HAWS PAWS
For fun, we drank beer!
Pure & Crafted Festival
(27 November 2016)
The Pure&Crafted SA festival was designed to celebrate the unique South African heritage, vintage and new culture across music, food, motorcycling and family entertainment.
It was a good enough excuse to go for a spin over Breedtsnek, have a dop, kuier with some friends and listen to African vibes!
So, what did we all do at the festival?
We drank some craft beer…
We drank some craft beer and ate yummy jaffels (a South African delicacy made out of two slices of bread, normally with a mince filling, and toasted into a round shape)…
We drank some craft beer and argued about the prettiest classic/custom bike on show…
We drank some craft beer and then switched to some whisky…
We drank some whisky and listened to Africa’s heart BEAT…
We drank some whisky and went flying with friends (though the falling part was the best)…
We drank some whisky while running not to be late for the stunt show (not a drop was spilled)…
We drank some whisky and watched Big Jim tricking up the crowd…
We drank some whisky and met up with old and new friends…
We drank some whisky and took the latest models out for a test ride…
We drank some whisky and danced like nobody’s watching (except that girl with the black t-shirt)…
Race like you don’t want to be last.
Love like all the dogs in the world belongs to you.
Drink like life’s adventure ends tomorrow.
Just know that some of your honesty contributions, honestly, strussbob, went into dog food, pleisters and headache tablets.
If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.
If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.
As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account:
You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.