TG Newsletter: ELECTIONS
(23 April 2014)
Isn’t it exciting??? It’s elections again. It’s almost like Halley’s Comet… it comes around every few years; you have people staring into thin air with blank expressions on their faces – and nothing really changes!
We’ve been following the fights about ads not being added; the politically excepted size of a homestead; and the suppliers of red berets.
So why not have a bit more of a feminine party? One that looks after the well being of those with only two wheels.
We need a bit more girly-girls in the politics: No offense Herman… I mean… Helen!!!
Have a look at the national flag. It has almost every colour in the spectrum, ‘cept ONE… PINK?!? I mean – they even designed it with a feminine symbol, but no pink???
We might not have R900 thou to get our boots in the door, but nobody could stop us from going on a campaign rally. We drew up our manifesto & loaded our steeds.
We set off, flags wappering in the wind.
I spoke to mister Gordhan & he was all in favour. When the Tank Girls rule the lair, we will give two wheels FREE per vehicle on each gantry.
TWO WHEELS FREE!!!
I also heard that they take very nice photos at these gantries, so I showed them my best side…
The first available stage we could find was at the Rand Easter Show – Hall 5!
Kloppety-klop-klop, we came trotting in.
The crowd went mad, well… all four of them. I heard at least one BOO somewhere from the back. You know you are not taken seriously in this game if you are not at least BOO-ed once. All you other unflattering parties watch out – we’re coming!
We chatted to the crowd about voting pink. I did see a spectator lift an eyebrow when we mentioned converting Nkandla into an MX track.
We made all the promises we will never keep – just like a regte-egte political party.
After our very conniving… conspiratorial… CONVINCING speech, we toi-toied through the stands, spreading pink.
We decided to put our heads together about our next move, but in the process we forgot where we put them…
Bloody Agents sizing one another up!
We spinned out of there & headed to the mountains.
Next stop was Saloon Route 66!
We expected to find angry bikers, anarchy & apparatchik(c)ks. Those that you can convince the world are spinning because somewhere there is a hand on a throttle.
They might have had anarchy, but they weren’t all that angry…
*Nice seeing regular members supporting the cause – Big Dave!*
*I’m sure that was Jack Nicholson…*
We invoked our SANRAL right & demanded tolls to enter the bar. As per SANRAL – we quickly ran into the red…
Jack Girl will be appointed our minister of Health. With South Africa’s experience in this field, we need to reinstate a minister that can find the answer to our problems in a bottle. We believe Jack Girl will be able to get to the bottom of it!
We handed the new lyrics of the National Anthem to the band:
“Sounds the bikes to come together
And on Bridgestone’s we shall stand
Let us live & strive for petrol
And rock SA with our band”
With bewildered looks, we left for our next enslavement – Cock & Bull!
On our way we found a wille Zille & she decided to elope!
*See – we also have a Youth League*
*Nobody ever told me X-mas Father is a biker?!?*
We were questioned, thoroughly & hopefully we answered them all with the best lies we could come up with.
We ended the day CROSSING THE FLOOR with a...
...trot, celebrating the day’s victories!
We were EXHAUST-ed and we dived into the CABINET for some refreshments.
We are FOR girls
We are FOR bikes
We are FOR pink
VOTE FOR US AT www.facebook.com/skinnybikerchicken
*Most photos taken & edited by Hannelie van Schalkwyk*
If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.
If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.
As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account:
You can do an EFT transfer to the account below
www.pinterest.com/skinny400 YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk