The Science Trip

(20 - 21 July 2013)

Theories can't be proven, but they CAN be disproven

…and we headed out on a winters morning to disprove soooo many!

Lynn and Johan decided to trek out to the North-Western regions of the country to join me on this unforgettable odyssey. They packed every available techno-proefbuis they could find; including miniature speakers and clean undies… you never know when you might need these!!!

Stumbling on a small town called Mooinooi, not knowing when they would be able to replenish stocks again – they filled up. Limited on space – I offered to carry some load. Need I explain how cold this was?!?

Our first night, we did a few experiments on OSMOSIS. Apparently blood does flow away from higher concentrations of brain activity when a catalyst like clear flammable liquid is added. Blood is however NOT adverse to sharp knives or burning coals… no matter how much liquid you add.

Lynn and myself fell peacefully asleep on the double bed, with Lynn making sure my lepel-lê skills are still up to A-grade.

The next morn started with a test of the BOILING POINT of Magaliesberg water.

After consuming said water, we packed for the rest of the trip. Seems energy exerted to fasten bungee cords does not differ with different angles applied.

Within a two kilometer radius of the departure point we busted the first theory: INERTIA (the tendency of a moving object to keep moving in a straight line). “But mister occifer… the inertia of my number plate was downwards!”

Lynn saved the flailing plate and plonked it back under my cargo net.

On our way to Marikana.

Marikana must currently be known as one of the most volatile spots on earth. The plan was to head-in, head-through and head-out, all in one ‘foil’ swoop!

NEWTON’S LAW OF MOTION: The first of the three laws states an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Seems it doesn’t need a ‘force’… a happy still lying rock will do!

Johan had to tread back to find us parked on the side of the road.

Lynn picked up a smiley…

…and quickly lost it again!

WOCK: Hard, inanimate object that makes a dent in a wim. We inflated the tyre at the garage & went looking for help… in Marikana – bid my aan!

The mag repair shop was well kitted, but they seemed a bit busy on this Saturday morning and could only fit us in a bit later. ‘Swiftly’ and ‘move’… make sentence!

We were tempted to phone for help, but 8·ta’s HQ was probably busy with stock-take.

Lynn pulled out a bottle of foam from between her conical flasks and test tubes. Knowing which container to shake while consuming fluids takes years of scientific practice!

Johan started the foam party by distributing a few Pascal units from container to tube… tyre tube!

To make sure said foam was dispersed evenly, we took off as quickly as possible. We will blame it on the foam and not on the nervous tension hanging around in Marikana.

It didn’t take Lynn long to reach the outskirts of town.

But soon we came to the conclusion that even though we know energy cannot be created OR destroyed… it can be depleted! Plans were put in action to get us to an energy re-filling breakfast station.

Ons is HONGER!!!


Just a kiekie proof on how light Skinny travels…

1 x sleeping bag – PINK

1 x tent – PINK

1 x bottle of Jack – makes my wangetjies PINK

1 x number plate (optional extra)

Consumed one healthy breakfast…

…and soon we were off to test MOMENTUM: The speed or force of something that is moving.

We found that the CORIOLIS EFFECT (the curving of the path of a moving object caused by the earth's rotation) for that morning tended to the left. Guess the earth woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning???

Some of the locals making sure they don’t reach ABSOLUTE ZERO. Even though scientists state that it is impossible to reach absolute zero – in a zinc house, you get blerrie close!

We stopped at Rooiberg to meet some of the locals.

One of them took an immediate fancy to me…

But due to EVOLUTION that has skipped the town of Rooiberg, I had to say goodbye to my new boyf and move on to a place with a better natural selection. Tears and wood skaafsels were flowing!

So… we found Leeupoort!

…and with a distinctly better gene pool at the local bar, we were invited by the owner of the Koekepan to enjoy a cold one – ON THE HOUSE!

Two + two = Who nose…?

The LAW OF ORBITS states that planets orbit the sun elliptically… except if there’s a galaxy offering free dop.

The Koekepan galaxy was a really nice pause in our orbit.

From here we headed out in the direction of Thabazimbi on a road that I was promised was in N1 condition… As the sand got thicker and thicker, I started thinking of what would be a good straf-dop for my riding partners?

Unlike the well-known theory that the universe began with a massive expansion event 14 billion years ago… I can now confirm that the BIG BANG THEORY is indeed the process of taking a medium size adventure bike, dragging it over an unknown thickness of loose gravel and then dropping it…




I can also state that the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train… but the glare off Johan’s dark glasses.

“Kan jy my hoor?”

Sand… en ek staan op en daar’s sand… en ek haal my helmet af en daar’s sand… en ek vat ‘n sluk water en daar’s sand… en ek vee my oë uit en daar’s sand. SAND ORALS, vir dae en dae!

Johan had to add some elbow grease to get Brom bromming again.

A QUARK is believed to be one of the basic building blocks of matter. It is also the sound that a DR makes when planted head first.

“Right… who are you guys & where are you heading? Can I join ya?”

NOCICEPTION (the ability to sense pain) came at the first stop at a canteen next to the road. I consumed half a can of sand, flavored with Sprite when things started to come back to me… I knew these two people!!! We were all somewhere in Africa; and we did this kind of sand thing for FUN! Right… brains stopped rattling and we’re off again!

We stopped in Thabazimbi at a place where either the people are minuscule OR the pizzas are overly HUMONGOUS!

After having a quick bite and a dop we found that the LAW OF GRAVITATION will force any biker-inclined objects (no matter their mass) toward one another.

We found a nice spot to rest our weary loins – ThabaNkwe Bushveld Inn

Archimedes allegedly yelled out "Eureka!" and ran naked through the city of Syracuse. The story goes that Archimedes made his great breakthrough when he noticed the water rise as he got into the pub… I mean TUB! We waited anxiously, but Johan never took off any clothing?!?

DARK MATTER cannot be detected but we can guess that it exists because of its ‘pull’ factor.

We couldn’t find any DARK MATTER…

…but what we did find DIDN’T MATTER!

Back at the chalet, I plonked down on the couch. I knew that it was gonna be impossible to access the status of my body: was it tired OR was it broken??? Lynn decided to investigate the UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE (…and maybe assisting with getting my jacket over my shoulder), but I guess there was a strong nuclear attraction and she flopped down next to me!

I woke the next morning up with a new HYPOTHESIS: ‘Learning something’ and ‘pain’ has great energy interactions between them!

Soon we were on the road again and soon we needed energy again.


FOOD CHAIN: At the top - US… at the bottom – SPUR! An avo putty… smaaklik!

Heading home, Lynn pulled me off the road. She wanted to swop bikes as she saw me battling without a screen. But there is a power stronger than ‘common sense’. It is a power that I have mastered and after a quarrel, an attempt to pull me off the bike and a near klap… Lynn had to admit defeat to the power of the HARREGAT-WOMAN.

I tugged my cape back into my jacket and we were off again!

My superhero outfit – I just wear mine on the inside!

We made it home in pieces! I found so much sand everywhere; I’m considering building another house…

It was hard to say koebaai, but for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Lynn pushed back with equal force…

As soon as I can put skouer-aan-die-wiel, we’ll head out that way again and try to make it all the way to Rankin’s pass… this time!

LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS: You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit the game.

BTW - Thanks to Johan and Pauli at GPS4Africa for fixing up my bike and the GPS!

To advertise here next month – gooi me a mail and I’ll gooi you straight back with details.


Ladies 24hr Team

I’m also part of the ladies team competing in the BikeSA 24hr Enduro race in December.

WE NEED SPONSORS! We don’t ask much and we nag even less. If you want to be associated with the most awesome team – give me a shout.


We’ve completed the YouTube video of the dice between Storm on a superbike (on the track) and Skinny on a scrambler (just inside the track):

Skinny and Storm Lichtenburg Race

…it was a close call!!!


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Skinny YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk