TG Newsletter: MEMEL


(4 June 2013)

Skinny sms to Jen: Do you ride dirt?

Jen: I think you have the wrong number…

Skinny: I’m gonna take that as a YES!

Jen: How much Jack are we taking?

Planning on doing my first ever Wild Dog bash was interrupted by a chicken some of you might remember as Jack Girl…

Yes! We found her perfectly preserved bottom still lurking around town. Seemingly, her life principle off ‘too much Jack Daniels is never enough’ has started a new religion. AMEN to the Drum Sticks!

What could be more important than spending a weekend with a butt (no pun intended)? So rather than hitting the road to Memel on Brom; I loaded Brom and Vonk on the trailer. Couldn’t get the indicators working on the trailer, but Go-Go-Gadget-Dad quickly made a plan.

A ‘J’… but not the ‘J’ I meant to pick up?!?

My companion for the first part of my trip, Jackson, a hitchhiker I picked up on the farm next door. He wanted a lift into town, but decided to hitch all the way to Majakaneng. He was very camera shy and immediately wanted to know, “Wat maak jy met my snappy???”

The REAL ‘J’… behind her HP – dreaming that it was her HD!

Jen was still hard at work and I had to bribe her away with promises of copious amounts of JD.

And do not believe for one second that we shared…

The road was long, our Jack was limited and traffic was hectic. We took a few wrong turns despite the GPS chicken screaming her lungs out. When we start cackling – nothing distracts us!

NOT the view from behind a visor…

Pssst… Witkop – we need to talk!

JD + Hydr8 = Gr8²

Arriving at Memel Hotel, it was dark, cold and bustling…

We made it just in time as we were running low on stock…

We shared a few dopsch with the town folk before…

…checking our boneys for the big ride the next morn! Jen was ready to rip through the stof!!!

The next morn we were pleasantly surprised with the room service. Laurika served Jen with a steamin’ cup in bed. They definitely wanted to make sure we got outa bed… Or maybe just checking if we were still alive after the ‘night before’.

The REAL Tank Girl – just in time for a defrosting cuppa and breakie!

…where education started with a chip-bap! Souties…???

No, no, no… we’re not lost… NOT YET!

The chickens flocked into two groups. Let’s call them the Koekkoeks (…the braver chickens) and the Silkies (the more bedeesd chickens).

All the chickens checking their plumage for the trip… I think the average was set to 2.1 cholesterol.

The Silkies took the straight and narrow to Verkykerskop. As we pulled off, I realized that Jen has never done any dirt in her life…!!! But knowing what a fearless chicken she is I just swung past her yelling, “ONLY USE THE BACK BRAKE!!!!!!” Not sure if a ‘back brake’ is a common part on a Harley – but she managed!

Up… up… and AWAY!

The road swopped between pebbly dirt hi-ways and holy tar crap-ways…

Our sweeper… dusting behind us!

We stopped for a quick ‘smokin’ break.

The more experienced chickens took the route more t(g)ravelled…

Op julle merke… gereed…?

Apparently Jolandi took me serious when I said, “Gaan speel op die treinspoor!”…

*Deep voice ON* There was only one way down… *Deep voice OFF*

Excuse me… You don’t possibly know where FarLookersHead is?


Where all the chickens met up for some refreshments and the biggest meal I’ve had in years!

After that wobbly ride – I’ll believe you Jen!

We warmed our walkie-talkies at the fire…

We made ourselves comfy on the stoep…

The DJ loaded us some tjunes on his gramafoon. The first song was ‘Chicky Tikka… tell me what’s wrong…!!!’ by ABBA!

The Koekkoeks flew in… DORS – VERY DORS!

YES – this chicken you handle ‘at your own risk’!!!

Jolandi was showing off her p… her cat!

WHAT…?!?!?!?! Serious…???

Yeah… maybe not the lips – but we can’t say much about the alcohol!

Tekwiela face!!!

…and just to make sure we covered all bases!

We were served a boerekos spread of note! Homemade bread… still steaming outa the oven!

We’ll take that as you ‘liked’ it???

Stelasie – all the chickens in the feeder!

Just before we dragged our plug-full tummies over some more gravel back to the hotel, it was kiekie time. Everybody say: SKROP WERF!

The easy part…


We were certified free range!

We made it back to Memel before the cold set in. We had a braai smokin’ in the back. One by one, the chickens rested their weary combs down at the table…

Griet’s new baas – Misty! We’re poultry – we DRINK pink drinks!!!

More tekwiela… Oooooh my chicken liver!!!


…and their feathers!

The long road back the next morning was windy enough to give any chicken some serious air-time.

Wild Dogs/Chickens – thanks for the invite and hopefully we do this next year again. We really liked the fowl-play!!!


If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.

If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.

As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account:


You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.

Een-twee-drie! Blok myself!!!

Skinny YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk