TG Newsletter: WOMEN'S DAY
Women's Day At Zwartkops Raceway
(9 August 2011)
Kloek… kloek… kloek!!! En al die chickens het kom werf skrop…
I’ve never smelt more perfume than petrol fumes at Zwartkops – but there’s always a first time. Claire asked that I come spend the day jaaging on the track. All set and ready to roll, trailer hooked, gear packed… ALLES! But I turn the blerrie key and not even the ‘moenie-my-bike-vat’ light will go on. Billy-Bob is heartless! I want to rush him to ICU, but he’ll live to die another day - Zwartkops is waiting.
I sleep-voet to The Z and all forgiving Claire says I should just check that the Honda okies are all hêppie and organaaised. They ask me if I’m riding, and then offer me one of their demo bikes (…they’ve obviously not spoken to BMW before!). After two laps, Sean asks me if I’ll take some of the chickens for a lap as pillions and sommer prop me one of those jhelse jhellow vessies in my hand.
Getting the chickens on the back of the bike is the biggest hurdle. Dis nie ‘n trap leer nie, vedomp!!! The further back they sit – the more the control of the bike is in THEIR asses. So I chuck my arm around their bums and pull them toit. I then grab them arms and swing them around my waist.
Knowing the Honda Blade has road tyres that are probably more inflated than JuJu’s head… I take the corners easy. But pulling off from every turn, I have the girls grab on for dear life – EVERY TIME GRABBING MY NANAS! Bwahaha!!! Yeah baby!!!
Nienke pointed out that there were more chickens standing in the Q waiting for the ‘lady rider’. Even had a girl specifically come ask to ride with me (…she’s also obviously not spoken to BMW before). Some guys looked at her, shook their heads and mumbled something about… bird-flu???
Dis nie stoom nie… dis rook – hou vas!
We had Angie Khumalo there (…only found that out the next day) – she of famous biker chicken waves! Her group was crazy loud and I could hear them screaming from the other side of the track.
The cars were amazing, beautiful and Michael Jackson… like in ttthrilling! I didn’t even get time to check out the kart track with the supermotards, but heard it was great fun and some chickens might swop from superbike racing to motards!!!
The quarter-chickens showed us exactly how it should be done!!! Knee-down, gritting teeth, open taps!
Think Bike had a quick-up-and-go training school… just to show the chickens they can do this thing without sletting neer in the first 5 seconds.
Hopefully we’ll see more feathers peaking out under helmets from this day forth!
If you're familiar with the rural concept of the honesty bar, this honesty newsletter ain't much different... I'm a completely un-paid journalist, relying instead on readers using the honour system. You read the newsletter and then leave an amount you see fit for the entertainment you've received.
If you don't find it particularly amusing, then you fork out NO dosh. I won't stop sending you the letter – it is still mahala to those that count their coins and... I love sharing my stories.
As requested by my overseas readers, you can donate to this newsletter on my PayPal account: firstname.lastname@example.org
You can do an EFT transfer to the account below.
Flat Taps Pappie!!!
www.pinterest.com/skinny400 YouTube: Skinny van Schalkwyk